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29 year old me. A little over 3 years ago. That guy didn’t even take his shirt off at the pool. Hell.. That guy didn’t get invited to the pool and if he did, he’d stay at home cause he felt too disgusting to be seen out.

Sad that he didn’t take his shirt off at the pool He looks like a hot dude and it breaks my heart that he bought into the idea that to be hot you have to be skinny or some other bullshit idea that is unhealthy or just stupid. Too  bad for grumpyface! I’m gonna focus chubby and happy me in some other friendlier direction. 

Good luck, grumpyface - hope you find everything that you’re looking for!

It’s not what I “bought” into, it’s what I felt naturally comfortable in. I wasn’t always big and it didn’t come about because of a healthy lifestyle. Also, It’s not all a fat shaming prerogatory or part of some agenda I “bought” into. It was caused by hormone and chemical imbalances. So yeah, I was pretty miserable and insecure, I didn’t feel like myself, I had no pride in myself or confidence. I find I get more judgment from people for becoming involved in fitness almost as much as I did when I was chubby and it comes down to the this, my doctor ran my labs and I was incredibly close to becoming diabetic, my blood pressure was way way high, cholesterol was high, I experienced numbness in my arms and legs from the strain in my heart and my knees felt like I had pins and needles stuck inside my joints. I had no strength, no libido, I was depressed and all of this including my rapid fat gain was due to a hormonal imbalance. Go ahead and judge me for having the drive to actually do something about my health, but this has no reflection on whatever personal hangups you may have about yourself. I still find the men I find attractive and play with. Even if they’re 100lbs or 400lbs. P.s. Look at your tumblr. It’s all skinny guys, and you have the nerve to have some stance against my fitness endeavors? Seriously, any of you that keep negating the fact my health and life was in danger and that I’m good now but I was “great” before too, just don’t get it. Quit supporting and promoting bad behavior and punishing or lowering the worth of good behavior. There was nothing respectable about me only being physically active 5 hours a day while I slept and stuffed my face with junk food till it was hard for me to breathe. And uultimately, this is my life and my body, it’s about what “I” feel comfortable in. Not about what you’re attracted to, it’s NEVER been about what others are attracted to. I stayed in cause I felt insecure and uncomfortable, not because people didn’t find me attractive. Cause I still had no problem getting laid then. Just as I find big guys attractive as well as long as they’re attractive to me. What I do, and everything I do is for me and what I like myself to be. NOT a representation of what I’m physically attracted to. Unlike you, and your twinks.

Perspective and reactions.

I’m coming to the conclusion that life is all about how you react to it.
Guys want to be loved by you, only to run or turn you down once the chance to materialize something comes and you’re something they’re not used to handling.

You can work you ass off for a decade and still be on ground zero.

You come across potentially scary health issues.

You lose loved ones.

But life keeps on going, whether you sit at home heartbroken and rejected, bitter jaded and angry, stressed broke and desperate, fearing for your quality of life and your loved ones or spending your life mourning the end of something, someone, somewhere that was or could have been.

Life will keep going and depending on how you react to it will dictate the amount of happiness you live with.

Hope for the best, understand and respect others and their decisions, mourn your loved ones but celebrate their life and legacy and leave a legacy of your own. One where people don’t remember what you had, but how you made them feel and impacted their life.

Life keeps going, and whatever happens, whatever time we have, it’s a gift to be grateful for and accept and react to it in a loving positive empathetic way. You’re not guaranteed to live forever, so spend it focusing on love and not money, not the guy that stopped talking to you, or things that are out of your control.

You can sit at home crying, or you can go out into the sun.

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